You don't need to be a philosophy major to know Nietzsche's famous quote “If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you”. And you don't need to be a philosophy major to understand its meaning–although not obvious, it is of simple interpretation.

This is where I found myself between the end of 2025 and the beginning of 2026, staring at whatever I built with true passion and commitment becoming a nonsensical, meaningless soup of slop, completely destroying every single attempt my team and I made to create something genuinely unique and useful for everyone.

I am honestly grateful for the experience because it highlighted once again how miserable life can become when all you're seeking is power and validation. Numbers in a bank account seem to be the means, but they end up being the end; nothing else matters but raising that number, regardless of the implications.

I have learned many things that could disappoint some of my dearest friends in the beautiful Bay Area, where grind culture and the idea of “winning at all costs” seem to be the norm, and I feel the need to share a few of them.

#No One Gives a Fuck About Free & Open Source Software

Yes, it's a bait subtitle. But it contains a bit of truth. I have met many individuals who deeply care about open source software. I have worked with and for people who truly believed in the mission of free software, and I have been directly influenced by them in the most beautiful way possible.

I have never met a single company that truly cared about open source software. I have met individuals working tirelessly on free, open-source software, yet founding companies that are still not interested in open source whatsoever. And it's not their fault; companies are not meant to benefit collectivity; they're meant to grow. And although great free software advocates like Richard Stallman always pointed out that open source software is “free as in freedom, not as in free beer”, growing a company based on such free software is still extremely complicated–if not rarely possible. There are exceptions, but I bet they would also point out that it's a hard journey.

Look at Redis, Elasticsearch, Terraform (just to name a few); all amazing products that started as open-source software and, at some point, had to decide how to survive. I am not shaming them in any way. I just want to point out how companies will only care about free software while it's convenient for them. I challenge any of you to name one company that is truly, deeply committed to free software more than it is to profit. And I am not asking to point at their founders. Point me to a company. I can only think of Igalia, but I hope y'all can prove me wrong by providing more names.

#Gazing into the Abyss

I have been put in the position of defending the open source status of software I have written many times. Sometimes the close sourcing proposal would come as a threat (“there is no alternative, we have to, unless we develop this AI feature you really don't find useful”), other times as rejection of any ethical stance (“it doesn't give us any advantage to keep this project open source”). Either way, it has never been about the values behind open source, but mostly about how to profit from its status or how to force decisions by pushing on the very values I would subscribe to. Profit does not subscribe to any value but to its own growth. When open source software is no longer useful for growth, it gets abandoned or “gifted to foundations”, so companies don't have to take care of it anymore.

Profit gazes back at you once you start to accept compromises that would lead to the complete destruction–nowadays, sloppification–of free software you wrote with the simple idea that it could be something that people wanted. Then you realize that “make something that people want” actually means “make something that I think people want.” The difference may sound subtle, but this is where the abyss lies in disguise.

#Taking Responsibility

It seems like I'm throwing a lot of mud against various people I had the misfortune to work with, and I think it's important to recognize that I consciously took part in something I do regret. I have been, and I still am, a big believer in open source software–the same software without which we would have no internet, no mobile apps, no precious AI, and many other things we take for granted today. It's important to realize that the world we live in today is largely built on open-source software. Make all the free software disappear, and let's see what happens. And although I am deeply appreciative of open source software, I put myself in a position where, if needed, I would have pulled the trigger on everything I've built. I may have had good reasons for it, but still, with deep heart, I would have done it.

The most successful projects I created are now gone; I have no stake in them anymore. I feel like I'm paying the price for having put myself in that position and played my cards badly. It's a fair punishment. But my commitment from now on is to dedicate the free time I decide to spend on writing code to open source software exclusively, with a guarantee that commercialization is never gonna be a priority, not even something I aspire to.

I am lucky enough to work for a company I like, tackling challenging tasks that keep my mind busy and stimulated. That's all I need. The software I write outside work, I do for fun and for a deeper realization that if I know how to build something and people need it, I can decide to take responsibility to make it a reality. And if I don't feel like it, no one is forcing me to.

I am free as in freedom. And I am not for sale.